We hereby define a new term used to describe our “strategy” in life. Are you a giver, a taker, a lover, a fighter, macho guy, sensitive guy, Madonna, slut, etc - it’s all really your GPS.

If evolutionary psychologists are right - and they do seem to be gaining credibility and attention these days - then our personalities are largely endowed to us by Mother Nature during the process of evolution. In fact, your personality is simply an adaptation created and managed to help you navigate your environment and successfully proliferate your genes.

Notice we talk about a gene proliferation strategy - not a sexual strategy. We all have a sexual strategy (and not the “ok, you go up to her and start talking then I bust in after like 10 seconds and ask you if you want a drink and then I’ll just ask her and her friend if they want something to drink, and then we’re in”), but this is a subset of our gene proliferation strategy.

To explain - we do not need to have sex to proliferate our genes. Sure, we largely prefer it, but because our genes are also in our family members, expanding the gene pool goes beyond sex, and even child rearing, to encapsulate altruism and good old-fashioned brotherly love. My aunt has never had children but in a way, she ensures that her genes get passed on by giving me 20 bucks on my birthday. That’s part of her gene proliferation strategy but has nothing to do with reproduction.

Let’s explore the gene proliferation strategy.

Lots of personality
We are an expansive species. So much variation in our gene pool - unlike crocodiles; they’re pretty much all the same. But there are all kinds of people, personality-wise. And this variation, this range of personalities, was simply developed to allow humans to expand as a species. One sort of person can live within a range of environmental circumstances and another sort of person can live under a slightly different range of environmental circumstances. Put all the different personalities together and we’re covering a good bit of environmental circumstances. And indeed humans are doing well. We’re friggin’ everywhere and it is the variations of our personalities which have allowed us to do so.

And just what are the various personalities? I guess we all know them, but they remain tricky to define. Jung called them “archetypes”. You’ve got dominant people, meek people, introverts, extroverts, friendly, hostile, emotional, stoic, principled, loose, athletic, awkward, etc etc. These traits are largely inherited but nature has given you some flack to play around with. Shy? You can develop yourself to be less shy. But in the end, your genetic proliferation strategy will be in line with that of a shy person.

To understand the strategies, we must first take a look at the “game”. Relating this to football - there’s no point in explaining the strategy of “passing to the side lines when there’s little time on the clock and you’re down” if you don’t know what those 22 people are doing on the field in the first place. So, take a step back to understand what we’re doing on this planet.

Right. I’ll try to keep it short and completely remove any philosophical, religious, or existential underpinnings and start from the level of biology. We are on this planet to proliferate our genes. No other reason. Everything we do is somehow related to this. Go to work, go to school, have sex, raise children, pick your nose, jog a mile, drive a car, go skiing, even taking drugs is related somehow to gene proliferation. You may not understand how smoking pot contributes to gene proliferation, and it is indeed a stretch, but rest assured, it does. Note: I do not encourage anyone to smoke pot - especially if it’s shwag and you got it from a sketchy source.

But if we can continue in agreement with this goal, all this does seem to fit together. So, genetic proliferation is the game, and we each need to play a role in that. Some do it by raising a family, some do it by promiscuous and commitment-free sex, some do it by joining the priesthood. And all of these options can be seen as strategies - strategies which are linked to certain personalities in order to execute them. Obviously, it takes a certain type of person to do any of the aforementioned. And each one of us can take a look at ourselves and match up the way we are and the things we do with possible genetic proliferation strategies.

Let’s take a few examples of stereotypical personality types and see how their personality lends to gene proliferation.
Men and women being the two sides of the coin obviously have very different strategies for gene proliferation, so we’ll split the types between them.

Women
The untouchable beauty - yes, she’s a bitch but if she were nice, the guys would never leave her alone. Her bitchiness is a survival mechanism. They all want her and the goods go to the highest bidder. Anyone who isn’t up to par is held at bay with a cold shoulder and a stoic gaze. The strategy is to be cold and aloof, get some rich guy to adore her and take care of her and the kids. She will probably be doomed to an unstable life since her husband - being the highest bidder - has a lot of bidding material to throw around. Conclusion: Nature wants her to “win the jackpot” getting a huge amount of resources from one man to raise her kids. She will effectively do this and ensure her progeny will also follow the “high road” by enrolling them in etiquette school.

The awkward, shy type - she will most probably find love, usually from a warm and loving man (we’ll get to him in a second). She’ll be a good mother and raise her children with love and care. Were she to not get a family of her own, you can bet she’d be a great support to close family members with their own offspring. Conclusion: Nature wants her to have kids of her own and a fairly mundane existence. Barring that, she can simply lend a hand taking care of her family’s kids

The slut - she probably looks pretty good but feels pretty bad about herself. This leaves her with the possibility to be with lots of men but her low self-esteem will not allow her to stay in a lasting relationship. She is sweet, yet frail and insecure and constantly seeking appreciation. Since being with one man for a longer period is not working out, she will pass on her genes by seeking the “support” of these sooters - getting little bits of support many many times. Conclusion: Nature wants her to have children and get fleeting support from the men she sees.

The prude - her sexuality has been repressed and she is pushed into the role of caring mother. A few kids taken well care of will suffice in getting those genes to future generations. Complete devotion will be expected of her man and he will not be the pick of the litter, but what he’s got her gives to her. Conclusion: she will settle for the doormat type of man, squeeze the life out of him and kill his sexuality accordingly.

The bitch - “help is hard to come by”. This belief means she struggles to get anything. Her interactions with others are largely hostile. Her intimate relationships will also be a battle, but she will squeeze out what she needs to raise some kids - bitchy kids… Conclusion: Nature wants her to “take what she can get” and push away those trying to take from her.

Men
The jock - athletic, right? this lends him to genetic credibility and makes him attractive to potential mates. He gets around. He feels no real need to settle with one woman. He takes on an alpha-doggish dominant personality and operates on an unsophisticated level - which proves effective to a certain point. Conclusion: Nature wants him to bone excessively. Either he’ll eventually settle down at an age well past the national average and be faithful, or he’ll marry early and continue his sexual destiny with extramarital affairs. Women will have a love/hate relationship with him - adoring him for his manliness and loathing him for his…manliness.

The comic - gets along with everyone and keeps the groups laughing. Of course, this is mostly done out of insecurity and fear of hostility. This is perhaps slightly dishonest. This can be interpreted as a lack of strength - were he strong enough, he wouldn’t have to care what the group thought. This lack of strength is translated to half-ass attempts at relationships and sexual congress. The fear and edginess can be translated as suppressed sexual energy. Conclusion: He will joke his way into the pants of a really nice girl, masturbate often in his regret that he wasn’t a leader type, and steadily shink over the years as the weight of the group bears down on him. He’ll be a pretty good father and provide well for a few polite children.

The nerd - though it sounds like an insult, the archetype can be the potential “intelligence jock”. Of course, there are nerds ranging from the classic computer geeks with glasses to the Hardvard professor with the tweed jacket and pipe. What unites them under one category is their lack of success with women. They excel on a group level - not an individual level. What I mean is, their gift is to the group, whereas the jock’s gift is to some lucky gal. So, nerds will not enjoy the adoration of women, but rather of groups, institutions, and governments. they are smart, so the game plays out in their head. This makes them laregly introverted and distant. Conclusion: Nature wants them to serve the group, and not get too distracted with women or even family. They’ll be decent dads but less decent husbands. Nice people but no one you want to spend too much time with.

The leader - Again, a testament to the diversity of personality. No need to have good genes for physical strength or even intelligence - just need to get shit done. Coordinating and getting results do wonders for your gene proliferation. Confidence is a must and it is attractive to both the group and the fairer sex. But they walk a tight rope between their instinctive drive to spread their seed and the moral standards of the group they are serving. You’ll find a fantastic example in Bill Clinton. Conclusion: Nature wants them to impregnate many and serve the community - and their personalities are built up to just both. Screw being a dad. These are some lovable charismatic people, but their families can barely stand them.

The doormat - just trying to keep everyone happy and on his side. Low self-esteem and a confused sense of purpose keep him in dire need of others. He’ll say yes to everyone and everyone senses his desperation and treats him like the doormat he subconsciously professes to be. Conclusion: Nature wants him to get a decent wife, have kids and live his life as a slave to work and family.

The skirtchaser - not necessarily good looking yet somehow attractive to women. Confidence is key and he’s got tons of it - largely in the “I just don’t give a fuck” sense. If he had confidence in another sense (ie competent and virtuous), nature would push him more in the role of leader. He actually has low self-esteem and dislikes his place on earth so is simply out to “go get his” by nailing every chick he can. Conclusion: Nature wants him to lay lots of pipe and impregnate as many women as possible. Finding proper support for raising the children is the women’s problem. So, he is the love ‘em and leave ‘em type. Hearts will be broken but genes will undoubtably be passed on.

The bad-ass - the male equivalent of the bitch. He’s angry and ready to show it. A low self-esteem and continuous struggle in this world leaves him with nothing to lose. He what he needs is a big hug, but he’d kick your ass for suggesting as much. He gets want he wants by force or intimidation. Would rather people just gave it to him courteously but that’s just not in the cards. Conclusion: Nature gives him no freebees, so demands that he take what he can get. He will have children to he same way as he has everything else. His genes will be passed on to the next round.

Stop stop stop before you comment on how this is a tremendous generalization. I know this and embrace it. These are just some of the “primary colors” of personality - indeed we are all tapestries. And these are just a few examples. But from this, I hope you get a rough understanding of the “game” we all find ourselves in, the strategies (ie. personalities) which are being used to succeed in the game, and where your personality fits into it all.

There you have it - a slightly new definition of personality. So, what do we do now?

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