“Who am I” is the real question that shapes your life. For all the things you want, don’t want, wherever you are or where you want to be, all other questions are found in this one. What you believe about yourself will ultimately shape how your life goes. If you look at the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful, the fulfilled and the unfulfilled, their differences lie in what they believe about themselves.

“How did I get to believe this?” Who knows. Maybe it’s in the genes. Maybe you were raised that way. Maybe you had a number of experiences which led to some set beliefs. There may be signals in the womb which indicate your best place in the community when you’re born. It doesn’t really matter – only that you know it is very very deep and will require a big shovel to get it out and change it. Think “cancer and chemotherapy”. Nothing short of these major operations will take care of something as ensconced as cancer, and nothing short of serious changes to your life and daily routine and thoughts will change what you believe about yourself.

For the last months I have been focused on my network. “It’s not who you are, it’s who you know”. But if you are no good, or if you just believe this about yourself, then the good people will avoid you. There will be no network.

So how do you change these perceptions of yourself? By being superficial - by changing things on the outside. We often hear that you live your life from the inside out, and this is true, but you need to change your life from the outside in. You need to set up routines and exercises that act like a surgeon’s knife to go in and cut out the cancer, and replace it with clean, vibrant cells. Once the inside starts to improve, the outside world will treat it better, and you start on the proverbial “upward spiral”.

For me, writing improves my inside. I love writing, and writing loves me. It was an unexpected relationship but it works. It makes me feel good. The shit I feel about myself in other activities is cleaned away when I write. I write well (at least, I believe that) and it makes me feel like a capable, valuable person. That and exercise. They give me confidence and a feeling of self worth. From this place, being this best version of myself, I can continue the other things I want to accomplish in my life.

What are the quick wins for you? What activities can you do today that give your confidence a boost and project your best self? Is it taking a class to learn something new, playing an instrument, being in nature, giving? don’t think too long about it, just do it. And be ready for action towards your goals once you start to feel better and feel like “who am I” is something awesome – that’s the time to take action!

I was sitting with some friends wondering why people are attracted to each other. In all honesty, we were looking at very unattractive couples and wondering if they were happy with their mate. Answer? Of course they are, or at least were. There are no couples if there is no attraction. Here is Quanology’s take on physical and mental attraction.

Why does attraction exist?
Seemingly obvious question, but just to be safe… As nature wants us to proliferate our genes, on a biological level, we need a mate. This too may seem obvious, but biologically speaking, it is not a given that a species of animal have two sexes dependant on each other for reproduction. Attraction is the agent which brings a man and a woman together to conceive babies and possibly raise them together*. In short, we are attracted to a person whom we feel will help us proliferate our genes successfully through reproduction.**

Who are we attracted to and why?
There are the two schools of conventional wisdom which say conflicting things: “opposites attract” and “like attracts like”. Evolutionary psychology would conclude that you are attracted to someone who is best likely to help you proliferate your genes well. What we see about these two seemingly conflicting explanations is that they involve GPP and GPS (human value and human personality, respectively). This creates a sort of matrix where there are levels of GPP and varieties of GPS – and both of these have both mental and physical components. Remember, GPP is the potential for genetic proliferation (how well someone can spread their genes) and GPS is the strategy which one goes about doing it (quantity vs quality and all that). Someone can have a high or low GPP mentally and a high or low GPP physically. And some people’s GPS relies more on the physical strategies (ie, biological evolutionary strategies) and some rely more on mental strategies (ie, cultural evolutionary strategies). Example of biologically-weighted GPS strategy is the “hunk” or “babe” type. They project a healthy, robust physical body which would provide the same to their offspring. The mental approach to GPS would then be the “smarties” – those who are relying on intellect and other psychological resources for their reproductive fitness. Of course, it’s a spectrum with extreme cases but mostly containing combinations of both.

Physical attraction
Proliferating your genes requires a degree of physical effort. This was more so back when we were still evolving physically and not the masters of our environment which we are today, but even with the conveniences of today a certain level of health is demanded of us. And we demand the same from a mate. Beauty correlates well with health – for a prehistoric animal who just learned to paint on cave walls. Physical attraction is simply your subconscious telling you that a potential mate is healthy, and thereby worthy of your attention and consideration. Notice it is subconscious – we do not consciously choose who we are attracted to. We can often scratch our heads and wonder “why do I like this person?”. You may not know but your subconscious does.

What happens when couples are not physically attractive? It happens. Some people are not physically attractive, yet these people have mates. These couples are physically attracted to each other. Again, it is the mental attraction which trumps the physical one.

Mental attraction
Now, we call it mental attraction because it is the mind one is attracted to. One can also be attracted to a body, physical attraction, but in many cases physical attraction just rides the coat tails of mental attraction. That is, someone is not objectively physically attractive, but the mind of the lover is simply blind to any physical shortcomings, seeing the physical lovee as attractive. This is the work of the mind reading body language. Now body language is physical but it gives deep and meaningful insight into the mind. Reading someone’s body language can tell us if that person is a match for us. Our subconscious is built to pick up the slightest clues to someone’s personality type, which correlates of course with their GPS. If their GPS and our GPS are a match, then we are attracted to them. This is all done on a subconscious level.

What we can also pick up from body language is of course the person’s interest in us. Very subtle gestures, looks, and movements can denote a person’s interest in us, or in general their openness to further interaction. Guys love it when a girl gives them a little look or a bit of eye contact. And girls, subsequently love it when a guy….uh…I have no idea what girls like.

Complementary vs Similar Personalities

So what kind of person are we attracted to? People like ourselves or people who are different? Some couples seem to be very much alike and others seem to be opposites. Let’s look at this seeming dichotomy.

“We have a lot in common”
Indeed you do, you have similar GPP and GPS. “Like attracts like” – both people have a similar potential level for proliferating their genes. This can mean many things actually as there are many different factors which play into a person’s GPP. Socio-economic backgrounds, physical attractiveness, social skills, and intelligence are of course the big ones. Any combination of these factors, as long as the levels are similar, would consititute “like attracting like”. But “having something in common” also means a similar personality, ie. strategy, or GPS.  Two rich people go great together, two smart people go great together, and two physically attractive people go great together. The levels must be similar. But in the end a similar level of GPP is required, and a similar GPS means that they will have a lot in common.

We often see a wealthy, unattractive man with a beautiful woman. He has his GPP in money, she has hers in beauty. But it’s having similar levels where the attraction happens. If a man is extremely wealthy and the woman not that pretty, he will always have a subconsious feeling that he could be doing better***. Similarly, an extremely beautiful woman with a fairly wealthy man may have a wandering eye for other men with better looks.

What about opposites?
Again a similar GPP level is essential. Opposites do attract, but they must always have a fairly equal GPP level, or at least the perception of such. Eddie Murphy was attracted to that woman in Coming to America because she had great social skills (personality) and attractiveness (I never really thought so, but Eddie must have or he never would have cast her, right?). And she was attracted to him for his personality despite thinking he was dirt poor. They both perceived the other as having a similar GPP in terms of personality and looks (c’mon, Eddie’s a good looking guy) but they were opposites in terms of socio-economic status. That’s where GPS comes in. If life is a game, then one must apply strategy to doing well. We are all born with certain traits and circumstrances which more or less determine which strategy we will most likely favor. Missing out on some attributes can hurt but finding a mate to compensate for them is a great way to strengthen your position. And therein lies the attraction of an “opposite GPS”. But note that the “opposite” is always the personality, because that’s ultimately what GPS amounts to. There is no rich person attracted to a poor person – all other traits being equal and the same. And there is no good looking person attracted to an ugly person with the same personality and value. There are however, adventurous people attracted to more conservative types, extroverts can be attracted to introverts, and nice people attracted to assholes – and vice-versa for all three.

Attraction is feeling that a person is the best match for you and your GPS and GPP at the moment. Moments change and attraction changes with it. All of us should develop during the course of a lifetime and that means what we are attracted to today might change.

Want to be more attractive?

Quanology is nothing if not applied. So, what can we do with this information? Improve ourselves – by developing our GPP and clarifying our GPS. Developing GPP is done on both a cultural level and a physical level – get educated and get healthy. Study personal development and take care of yourself, your soul (nope, not saying one exists), your self-esteem, your looks, your mind. Approach your life as a game in which you need to be skilled to do well, and then start developing those skills. Even if there is not a short-term improvement in your conditions, there will be an immediate improvement in you. And that’s damn sexy. And clarify what it is you’re going to do with this self. What are your goals? What do you really want? No small questions, but starting to ask begins the process of honing your strategy. And when your strategy becomes clearer so will the choice for a mate.You can also expect your confidence to go up as you start to clarify things in your life.

Mates as a mirror

Sometimes we are disappointed with the people we are attracted to, but this is only a reflection on ourselves. We are disappointed with our own level of GPP and our current GPS. A mate is a great mirror into our own selves and it can be confronting but then, also a great time for reflection. If you are in a relationship with an “unworthy partner” or keep attracting “the wrong kinds of mates”, realize that it either their value, their personality, or both you dislike. And then realize that it must be your value, your personality, or both which is attracting them. Why is the value too low for you? Where should it be? Why is the personality not right for you? Is there some unanswered part of your personality that is showing up in your mates?

There are enough famous scientists and psychologists who conclude that all of personality and human motivation is founded in mate selection. They may be on to something. In any case, your mates and attraction patterns will speak volumes about who you are and certainly how you feel about yourself. It’s all subconscious, but I hope this pulls some of it out of the dark and into the light where you can play with it.

* Of course, men can be attracted to men and women attracted to women, but proliferation of genes biologically requires a man and a woman, so just dealing with that here.

**Remember cultural evolution is a way to proliferate your genes through altruistic and artistic endeavors. No babies - just family support, art, science, politics, etc.

*** This is of course controlling for other factors, such as personality. A likable personality certainly contributes to a high GPP.

Changing your life for the better will take a number of mental and emotional efforts.  Yes, you will need a higher emotional resilience than you ever knew possible and a level of confidence and drive that you may never have experienced, but we’re not going to talk about that now. This article will focus on the practical, physical moves you will have to make to really start transforming your life. To get from where you are to where you want to be, you’ll need to invest in time, money, and energy but the first one to commit to is scheduled, focused time. Where are you right now? If you’re not where you want to be but are instead stuck in something else, you’ll need to take a break from your current situation to concentrate on the one you really want. That means: take a day for yourself.

Just you
How often does that really happen? When was the last time you spent a day with just you and your dreams? For most of us, it was back when we were kids. Being an adult means being responsible, and it’s quite likely that in your daily efforts to take care of your spouse, your kids, your dog, your cat, your parents, your car, your house, and all the other crap you own, you haven’t put yourself at the top of the list for a long, long time. This must change. And before your old-fashioned belief system kicks in which tells you that such an act would be selfish, remember that you have to take care of yourself before you can take care of others. Airline hostesses preach this every day. So, drop the guilt – you’re doing this for the betterment of everyone around you.

Cut it down to 4 days 
Working four days a week is a one of the best ways to get from your current job to a new venture – especially if you’ve got kids, as the weekends seemed to be gobbled up by all kinds of activities. Yes, the 20% pay cut will hurt, but it’s an investment. You’re not going to be sitting on your duff on that holy 5th day, you will be working – working on your new career, your new self and your new dreams. First allow me to convince you this is a good idea, then we’ll go into using up your 5th day.

Do I have to?
The problem is that we all get caught up in our routines and time gets the best of us. Most of our daily activities and certainly our work are built with the subconscious goal of completely draining us. There is nothing left over for pursuing our dreams and long term goals. So, you’ll need to prioritize. Yes, if your work stops, your short time life may die, but if your regularly scheduled pursuit of your dreams stops then your long term life dies. Taking that 5th day of work off for yourself allows you to do both and eventually move over from your current life to the new one you’ve got your sights on.

In my experience, the 5th day makes the other four all the more bearable. What’s more, there will be lingering bits and loose ends from the 5th day which you can make progress on on the other 4 days with just a minimal amount of time and effort. Think: quick phone calls, email replies, planning. You’ll be depending on other people to get your dreams and they won’t always be available on the day you’re off, so spreading your activities and communications over the course of the week will be inevitable, but if the meat is dealt with on the 5th day, you’ll be able to be very effective with little efforts on the other days.

How do you move from 5 down to 4 days? This may be tough in the US, but in Europe, it should be a lot easier to go up to your boss and ask to work 4 instead of 5 days a week. This is, of course, a highly personal move and it will differ for each of us. It will hurt financially and may even be roadblocked by your boss. But if you want real progress, you’ll need to invest time and pushing that time to the end of the day, or even the beginning, may be putting an unbearable load on your shoulders. Finding a way to make things work is what success is all about, this will be a good place to start practicing.

Got it! Now what? 

Assuming you’ve got it – one day all to yourself – what do you do now? Life is like a battle: you need to plan, train, and fight.

Plan – What do I want to do? What’s my master plan? Why is that my master plan? The clearer the plan is, the better chance you’ll have of attaining it. Where do you want to be in 20 years? And then start working your way back to the coming 6 months. Where do you need to be in 6 months, and how do you think you’ll get there? If you don’t have a master plan, you can skip ahead to the next step….

Train – Build up yourself like a secret army builds up its artillary and trains its soldiers. Take care of yourself. Workout to build up physical energy and confidence. Educate yourself, do confidence exercises and visualizations to build up your mental strength and attitude. As I mentioned, you can actually train without even knowing what exactly it is you’re training for. Imagine an athlete who trains his/her condition, balance, speed, stamina, confidence, etc not yet knowing which sport he/she will be playing. When the day finally arrives when it’s clear what sport it will be, he/she will still be in good shape to kick some ass. Working on yourself and educating yourself are great ways to clarify that thing that makes your heart light up and give your life meaning…so no excuse to not get started!

Fight – Take action every day. One of the best things to do is find models – people who are close to where you want to be and study them – their attitude, look on life, and how they got to where they are. Make the phone calls you need to expand your network. Start defining who your ideal network would include. Measure progress and attitude levels. I do this by keeping a simple journal. If things are working out, and evitably they won’t be in the beginning, ask hard questions to push yourself forward. Be prepared for discomfort – it goes with the territory. There will not be a magic place of quite contentment. But remember to focus on positive achievements. Yes, there will be a lot of crap and headache, and write it down if you must, but shine a light on the progress, no matter how small, record highlights and plan for tomorrow.

At some point, the deal is that you’re in a position to stop the other 4 and spend your time on the life you really want, doing the things that really give you energy and satisfaction. But that 5th day should remain holy - religions may be on to something with the whole idea of a sabbath. You need time to reflect, relax, and step out of your routine. And “routine” is one thing the 5th day should never become. Always, always make sure it’s something you look forward to. If it stops becoming immensely enjoyable, start spending it thinking up ways to make it so.

Staying in your 5 day work week does allow you to make progress towards a better life, but the results may be too small to get any real momentum – like having a savings account with 3% interest which inflation is 2.5%. What’s the point? Real progress comes from real changes and taking control of one day of the week is a bigger step than most are willing to make. Get ahead of the game and treat yourself like the worthy investment you are.

We’ll kick things off with the following statement: (pretty much) everything you do is the result of a subconscious decision based on an also subconscious analysis of pros and cons of doing/not doing the thing in question. In other words, you’re doing something because you enjoy the results of doing it more than the lack of results of not doing it. This may sound painfully obvious, but goal setting and systems for going through a to-do list can often leave out this fundamental issue.”Just make a list”, they say but seem to ignore the psychological necessities of doing this. Whenever you see someone being very good at something, you can bet they’re enjoying not only the achievement of the goal but the actual process of executing. Professional athletes love training. Anyone who doesn’t will not make the cut. If you want to excel at something, it’s a psychological must to enjoy the process. How could you compete with someone who loves to train and practice when you hate it?

In our lives, we may not be training for the Olympics, but we all have a list of things to do – a set of steps to get us to where we want to go. But we need to enjoy the ride. Otherwise those little tasks become psychological mountains. If you are able to change some key perceptions, then you can make the opposite happen – turning those ominous, scary, risky, difficult tasks into enjoyable adventures. It’s not just about using the word “challenge” instead of “pain in the ass”, but it is a slight dabble in mind manipulation.

You’ll need to convince yourself of 3 key things:

1. the thing you need to do is super important and accomplishing it will add tremendous joy and happiness to your life
2. not doing it will ruin you
3. it’ll be fun! So doesn’t matter if it works out of not, it’s all about doing your best.

Do these have to be true? The first one should be (otherwise, why are you doing it?). The second one may not be, but you can lie to yourself just a bit to get the desired result. You lie to your muscles when you work out saying “grow! or we’ll be tiger food!”. The reality of it all is secondary, but the perception is what it all rests on. Will it really be your downfall if you don’t set up a meeting with that one person? I’m sure you’ll figure a way to bounce back, but if you can rationalize how devastating it would be if you didn’t, then it should feel so much more natural and effortless to do it. Thirdly, “it’ll be fun”…

Truth is, everything is fun if you do it right. Just like every moment is a chance to be happy, if you do it right. The things you are and the things you feel only have meaning through your own perceptions. The universe doesn’t really care. Is coding a website fun? Is writing a business plan fun? Is creating a 1000-man company fun? I think it depends more on you than on the actual task. Some people are more geared to certain tasks than others, no doubt. Don’t ask my wife to code anything. And don’t ask me to pick out a color scheme for the living room. But many many things could be either fun or annoying. Choose fun and see how much easier it gets.

Book praise aside, Dennis’ dislike for self-help is understandable to a degree. It seems it was a conversation with a friend about the book “Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking” by Malcolm Gladwell which spurned him to write his own book. There does seem to be an accent on concepts and attitudes (positive ones, of course) which override the self-help industry. How could it be otherwise? My own theories purport self-help to be more akin to a skill like boxing – you need to start with a clear definition of rules and theory, but at some point you need to jump in the ring. From there, it is a constant back-and-forth of practice and execution, practice and execution. Perhaps in the business world, the execution is all you get (aside from occasional courses or your college degree), so you’ll need to use reflection as your trainer. So, self-help books focus largely on the principles and theory. They are text books, and did you really ever learn how to do anything from a text book? Nothing related to the outside world… I’ll bet.

What self-help does achieve is the molding of a mindset – giving the reader the option of a life and set of beliefs different to the ones a mediocre, ignorant environment has drilled into his head from the start. You’ll need a good mind set when executing. As Dennis himself writes, you’re unshakable belief in yourself and your ability to control your fears are half the battle. This is mindset.

The other half, is indeed the work. There is no substitute for hard, focused, effective work. Work which leads to positive results. Once you get that, you’ll abhor anyone who is not a hard worker. Like a smoker who quits and becomes an uber-anti-smoker. Perhaps I am now partaking in the obvious tips Dennis rejects, but the fact of the matter is, you only need a few bits of wisdom to have the life you want. The trick is incorporating those bits into every fiber of your being. People are shaped by just a few events or thoughts, namely the ones with the most emotional weight behind them. Emotion is the welder of learning, without it, everything just glides right off. But I digress. Once you know what you want (no small feat), then hard work must follow. The beauty of it is, that hard work toward a most desired goal is enjoyable. Many people who have never had the pleasure of experiencing this are turned off by hard work. In effect, if you find yourself enjoying the hard work you are doing, then you will know that you are doing what you want. If you find your daily toils to be an unbearable burden, then you know that you are doing what you are made to do. Sort of working backwards, I know. Preferably, you know what you want before you start working on it, but things will not always be so clear for everyone. And indeed it is a pain to give something a try and then find out after months of invested time and energy that you hate it.

So, let us have a brief overview of the best way to begin hard work. And as I start to think up things, I see that they fall into categories, and I notice that self-help deals largely with the first category. Maybe it’s the most important one. If you have the first category set, the rest comes by itself.

Preparation
1. Find what you love
This is harder for some than others. A lucky few know what they want to do right off the bat, while others may look their whole lives. The mind is intricate and there are a million reasons why these differences may exist. What I’ve also noticed is that some people really don’t care what they’re doing. They feel no real passion for anything. Should they then have less drive and thereby less chance of being successful? I don’t know. Maybe less of a chance at being fulfilled. But if you are about to embark on a journey of hard work, you’ll be best prepared to be doing what you love. More so than by doing what you are good at, I would venture. Talent can be developed. More often than not, people love the thing they are talented in. But if you love something, but lack loads of talent, do not fret. Neuroscientists claim that anyone can become a virtuoso with about 10 years of hard work. Still, Paul McCartney was a talented motherfucker, and I can’t imagine anyone being able to emulate him with any amount of elbow grease.
2. Love yourself/Believe in yourself
These are the same thing really. Many books have been written on the subject and many therapists do quite well to help you along in this, so no need to go into details here. But notable is the relevance to hard work. People who work hard love themselves and believe in themselves. No point working towards a goal if you do not believe you can accomplish or if you feel the benefactor is not worthy of the rewards. Are you worthy? Are you capable? No more and no less than anyone else, I suppose. It is thereby, in reality, a neutral factor. Of course, in your mind’s eye, feel free to believe that you are slightly more worthy and capable than your peers. It can only help.
3. Choose to be positive
The truth is, all situations are neutral. Good and Bad exist in the minds of the men and women who experience a situation as one or the other. As Bugs Bunny used to say: one man’s meat is another man’s poison. This gives you carte blanche to judge any given set of circumstances as is most beneficial to you. Poor? You just have nothing to lose. Rich? You have the means to accomplish your goal. The economy is booming? Enjoy the plentitude of cash and options. Market is declining? Enjoy the low prices. There is good to be gotten from every situation and success will favor those most able to see it and prosper from the mental benefits this investment returns.
4. Get motivated
I used to (actually, I still do) marvel at the drive that world class athletes possess. They have to be the best. They have to win. I would like to win, and that is why I’ve never really been that good of an athlete. Motivation is nothing more than perceiving that the benefits of a result are in dramatic contrast to the consequences of not obtaining that result. In this sense, there are no lazy people, only demotivated people. Your brain, being the lump of malleable shit that it is, is fair game for self-inflicted brain washing. Grab a pen and paper, draw a line down the middle from top to bottom and make a list of benefits on the left and consequences on the right. Con yourself by making the left side into everything you’ve ever wanted and the right side into being absolutely unacceptable.  Keep the paper on file and look at it regularly with a dollop of emotion.
5. Plan it
As an entrepreneur myself, I’ve had to write a business plan. It was one of those things people recommend you do, but you think it’s silly, until you actually do it and you see how useful it is. It is so friggin’ useful, I can hardly imagine doing anything major in my life without some detailed plan prepared in advance. It’s not written in stone and no, it doesn’t suck all the spontaneity out of life and/or business. It gives the gift of clarity and keeps all your actions aligned. It can change dramatically from one day to the next but at least you know where you stand and what you’re dealing with. A good business plan will eliminate inconsistencies and justify every move you plan to make in the achievement of your goal.

Damn, and that’s just preparation. But I’m sure you’ve guessed that preparing for hard work is itself a lot of work. Does everything have to be perfect before you start? No, but it helps. Anything which is not set up at the start will probably come under the loop once you’re underway, and it will cost time, but hopefully will not cost much more than that.

OK, go!

How to work hard. As I outline the points, I see that Dennis himself has actually noted many of these. Will he sue me for plagiarism? Only time will tell. Despite the fact that most of these points are common knowledge, he probably has some good lawyers.

1. Stay focused/Keep your eye on the prize
I think these are the same thing. All the effort in the world will not help you if they are not directed at a specific goal. There are a million different distractions in life and you must stay vigilant to keep them at bay. Constantly ask yourself: is this helping me accomplish my goal? If not, scrap it.
2. Delegate
As Dennis points out, delegating is not avoiding hard work, it’s just being smart.
3. Get healthy
Hard work involves physical energy. Even the act of thinking is an enormous drain on your energy. The healthier you are, the less you’ll ake an excuse out of fatigue. Take care of your body in the same way you would a car which is taking you on a road trip. Find time to choose and eat healthy foods and work out regularly. Nothing wakes you up and energizes you like a good work out.
4. Study time management
Time is the one area in life where we are all equal. 24 hours in a day – for everyone. There must be a zillion books on the subject. Find one good one, apply it, and you’ll be way ahead of the rest of them.
5. Measure results
This may be a part of the whole “planning” thing. Your plan should have some clear and measurable targets – preferably with sub-targets. Are you getting them? If not, no big deal, but at least you can evaluate your strategy and change it accordingly.
6. Visualize your goal being achieved
Your brain doesn’t know the difference between something you imagine vividly and something that actually happened. This is why a bad dream can screw up your week and how athletes who visualize tend to perform better than those who don’t. Tons of literature on the subject, but the bottom line is, you want to be visualizing yourself attaining your goal regularly. Feel how good it feels with as much intensity as possible. If 80% of any game is mental, shouldn’t you be spending a good deal training mentally? Yes, the answer is yes.
7. Use the 80/20 rule
The rule is as follows: 20% of the things you do contribute to 80% of the results. Focus your efforts and give priority to that 20%. Do an evaluation from time to time of all your activities surrounding a particular goal and see which ones are part of the 20% and which ones are part of the 80%.
8. Make yourself happy
Make sure you are enjoying the process. Otherwise you’ll start to slack at some point. Your brain will take off like a bored party guest if he’s not having fun.
9. List the many different ways you can end up successful
If your goal is to build a successful company with 50 employees and 10 million in annual revenue, try making a list of all the other accomplishments you will be proud of. Not that you need to focus on them, but show that they come with the territory as well. A hitchhiker of sorts. Like, learning about financing, having employees, being interviewed by radio stations, giving speeches at conferences, etc. Anything which allows you to be proud of yourself along the way.

This is just a primer, but again, you’ll only need to have a few of these sink in for real effects. This stuff applies to everything, not just making money. Use it in relationships, in sports, arts, you name it. It’s the framework for success at anything, even if your goal is just to be happy. Those of you who want the Quan, the Good Life, had better be prepared to work. Hard! Look at all your idols, all the people you think have it all and, on closer inspection, you’ll see that they work their tails off. Maybe you didn’t notice because they’re enjoying it so much.

The artistic and technical types (like me) can be jealous of that small percentage of guys that women drool over. But those guys can be jealous of the artistic for their wealth of creativity and ability to satisfy cultural urges…that is, if those guys can feel jealousy, they probably feel nothing at all, those pretty boys with their square jaws and accentuated Adams Apples walking up to any woman they fancy… (oh, there’s the jealousy right there…).

People want to write and create things with their minds like they want to bonk with their bodies. Proliferation via cultural channels is not as old and not as strong as via biological channels but it is just as widespread. It feels good to create art just as it feels good to fornicate. Every body wants to write a book just as everybody wants to have sex. The former is executing cultural proliferation strategy while the latter executes a biological one. It has been built in by evolution as a means of gaining cultural credibility which, in turn, leads to genetic proliferation…statistically speaking. These are the major drives in life. Sex and art. And status, I might add, which may have a finger in the cultural and biological jars.

I’ve heard of a book called The Instinct of Art or something. Wait, let me Google it. The Art Instinct. Right. Denis Dutton. He claims that art should be on the list of cultural universals with religion, language, social structures, and discos. I’ll agree to that.

Evolution takes place on the gene level
None of this “survival of the fittest”. It is not the individual who struggles to survive but the individual genes inside him. This distinction is super, super important. Not only can helping someone lead to personal benefits in the life of an individual, it can benefit the common genes in both parties which will are helped to live on over generations. The closer the relation you have to the person you are helping the greater the genetic reward, and the stronger the innate drive to help. This also explains the love/hate relationships in so many families. On the one hand, you love them because you share the same genes, but on the other hand, you try to use them because you don’t share all their genes. Parents feel compelled to give to their kids, but are always expecting results inline with their wishes. Sibblings too have an innate love for each other but will always fight over toys and compliments. It is a constant back and forth of altruistic behavior and competition.

Biological evolution occurs when traits in individuals lead to improved genetic proliferation
Since humans got so good at manipulating their environment, physical traits no longer provided a big enough advantage to warrant changes to our DNA. As a result, we stopped physically evolving some 10,000 years ago. This means that our bodies were really best suited for life 10,000 years ago, including our brains. If you want to understand your brain, you’ll need to put everything in the context of life at that time. If you want to feel good and be happy, look into what was natural and fulfilling back then and you’ll be sure to feel a certain innate joy in partaking in those activities. Hint: physical activity, natural foods, contribution, sex, and achievement did a body good. Cheating, lying, there were no unhealthy foods, sitting on your ass all day was also not an option….but all these things did a body bad.

Evolution is not just a biological phenomenon
Actually, everything is evolving. Quanology (and other scientists) contends that evolution itself is simply a manifestation of the 2nd Law of Thermodynamics. That’s right: entropy. That cool word you learned back in high school is actually the motor behind evolution. In its quest for equilibrium in an ever expanding universe, entropy is constantly looking for new ways to dissipate energy. And it gave evolution the job for living things. If Jesus is the son of God, then evolution is the son of entropy. That being so, the real goal of evolution is to dissipate energy and the genes which contribute best to the universe’s energy dissipation needs at the current moment in space/time will get to do their thing while the others die off. Right… It therefore happens to be that evolution doesn’t care how it fulfills the universe’s energy needs. It can do so with genes, but also other things, like cultures. Cultures evolve just like species evolve. Some traits get some cultures farther ahead than others. To find out what cultural traits fare best, you need only look at the most successful cultures in the world. Some are doing well and some are not. And the ones that are not will need to change… we don’t make the rules, we just follow them.

We are still involved in evolving
To continue from the last point, the good news is: we are still evolving. While we quit biological evolution (that was sooo 10,000 years ago), cultural evolution continues. See Quanology’s article An Introduction to Cultural Evolution. Every day we are learning new traits which will help us adapt to the fast changing environment we live in. And just like with biological evolution, these traits can be passed on to future generations.

Cultural evolution and biological evolution have different plans for you
Like having two parents who want different things for their child, biological and cultural evolution want different things for you. This will lead to bouts of confusion and frustration. It’s natural. You can’t make everyone happy. Can’t be the Spiritual Leader of a Generation and the owner of a Hedge Fund. But human creativity was spawned in trying to appease these two demanding parents. Morality itself evolved as a template for successful living on the cultural side of things. See Quanology’s article on The Evolution of Morality.

Men and women are playing the same sport but have different equipment
When God was handing out reproduction methods, humans must have been off watching Lost. Sexual reproduction, though a great way to end a game of ping pong, does not come without its share of pitfalls. Although it ensures that men and women must live together in a certain degree of harmony, its biological implementation ensured that they should seek completely different traits in a mate – with men focused on quantity and women focused on quality. And so male aggression was born. With women being so damned choosy about the men they reproduce with, men are forced to compete. This means, war, greed, crime, and bar fights. But also art, technology, interior design, gourmet cooking, and luxury automobiles.

The third layer is upon us
Biological evolution is the first layer in our existence, cultural evolution is the second layer, and the third layer is already here: digital evolution. Those jag-offs with the bluetooth headset in their ears are actually highly evolved individuals. They get it, and we will all soon emulate them. It freaks me out too but hear me out. Evolution is simply Mother Nature saying yes or no to a series of choices. These choices deal with genetic survival. She says yes, and a choice gets implemented. She says no, and it goes back to the drawing board. Nature has the ultimate say in what flies and what doesn’t – not the government, not the UN. If nature likes it, it’s gonna happen. And nature likes communication. Nature likes effectiveness – anything which ultimately leads to energy dissipation. The acceleration in technology is completely in line with the increasing needs of Nature to dissipate energy (as the rate of expansion of the universe increases). So nature loves technology. People doing three times as much work in a day is the nicest Mother’s Day present she could get. And at the end of the day, that stupid ear piece does allow you to call more people than a phone in your pocket. And this is just the beginning. Look at the incredible growth rate of the internet. The blogging engine this site uses is used all around the world and has facilitate the expression and compilation of unprecedented loads of garbage. There are technologies being developed right now that would blow your mind. It’s all happening so fast… The point of all this is that these technologies become extensions of its users. It’s all part of the same storyline: we adapted opposable thumbs to help us use tools better, we “adapted” spears to help us hunt better, and we will soon “adapt” chips in our brains to give us omnipresent computing power and globally integrated systems to guide our cultures.So, that’s evolution – 150 years old, and still evolving.

Note: Charles Darwin is certainly a historical giant. But, let’s face it, the time was ripe for humans to get what was going on around us. If he didn’t discover and detail evolution, someone else would have. In fact, someone else did: Alfred Wallace – Pete Best to Darwin’s Ringo Starr. Now, that’s not to steal his thunder – the glory is all Darwin’s. But let us not confuse Darwin as a person and a scientist with evolution as a theory. It was 150 years ago, the theory has since been adapted and tweaked, all for the better. Hell, Darwin didn’t even know about genes back then – and, as you see above, the differentiation to individual-level evolution is fundamental. For the sake of proper discussion, I’d like to try to leave his name out of it and focus just on the theory. I’m sure that’s what he would have wanted.

Just saw Niall Ferguson interviewed on the Colbert Report. He says “anything can be money”. True that. But I’d like to clarify what money is. Money is energy. If that sounds a little “New Age”, forgive me. I’ll give it legs. Wait. Let me stop real quick to eat a hand-full of nuts.

…2 minutes later.

Ah, that’s better. You see, I can’t think straight if I’m too hungry. The little mouse in the wheel in my brain doesn’t have enough energy to run. So I need to eat – recharge the batteries with food. And food, is of course, energy. Not just “converted to energy”, it is energy. Einstein’s Theory of Relativity states that mass and energy are interchangeable. In the example of food, let us not forget that the food we eat is digested and broken down into sugars which act as a sort of fuel for our bodies. Coincidentally, fuel is a form of energy… How do we get food? How do we get fuel? We buy it, with money, which is energy. 100,000 years ago there were no grocery stores and no gas stations. So, people had to hunt and gather for food. And they had to gather dried wood to burn fires. And you bet they were hungry after all that hunting and gathering. Damn straight. All that work takes a lot of energy… They didn’t have money, but they had energy (which they got from food, which is also energy). Manual labor is energy. Farmers harvest crops and then sell them to me for money. I would harvest them myself, but I don’t have the energy or the time. Now time is not energy. It is a forum where energy plays out it’s roll – a stadium, if you will, where energy sings its set of rock ballads. What were we talking about? Oh yeah, money.

Money is Energy
People constantly fight over money. Coincidentally, they also always fight over energy, over power. There is a never-ending and continuous power struggle going on in the world. All human interactions on every scale are ultimately power struggles, fights for energy. They become harmonious when the parties involved both perceive they are getting more energy than they are putting into it. And it’s entirely possible that both parties are getting “richer”. Life is not a zero-sum game. But if one or both parties perceive they are losing energy, a fight will ensue. Don’t believe me? Try this. Guys: don’t go to work for the next month. And gals: don’t cook dinner for the next month. If you’re horribly offended by these two stereotypical examples from 1953, feel free to substitute anything you do with regularity that your spouse or partner relies on. It won’t take long before your significant other brings this failure to your attention. If it lasts too long, you’ll get a fight – a fight over commitment and responsibilities. But what lies underneath is energy. If you don’t go to work, there is no money and the two of you will take a step back in life. Why? Because money is energy and you are trying to accumulate (and then dissipate) energy. If dinner is not cooked, then you may not eat. If you do not eat, then you lose energy… Get it? So both parties are trying to gain energy and rely on the other to help them along. Otherwise, why are you together? You may very well enjoy each other’s company, but once the courting phase is through and the deal is sealed, the work begins. And just like in a business, if the one party is not living up to the agreement, there will be an issue. And relationships ultimately have lots of issues. That’s OK. The good relationships get those issues resolved.

Everything is energy
I’m not going to pretend to be a physicist, but most accounts seem to agree that matter (excluding the dark kind) is made up of molecules, which are made up of atoms, which are made up of particles, and on and on until you get to these ridiculous scientific entities like quarks and shit. For more info, see here. Fah sho, there is much the average person does not know about physics, yet physics governs everything you do. Ultimately you can’t understand yourself until you understand physics. And I am sad to say, we will probably never really understand physics. It’s just too complicated. It dangles on the outskirts of human intelligence. The smartest motherfuckers in the world don’t understand physics completely – and they’re physicists. No matter. (Pun was not intended, but it just goes to show: there are some freebies in the universe). The point is, everything you do is somehow tied to the Laws of Physics. It’s just a question of connecting the dots from The Laws of Thermodynamics to “buying a lottery ticket”.
Tis true that everything (ie, matter) is equal to energy only through the eyes of Relativity, not Newtonian physics. But try throwing out the distinction and looking at everyday things as if it were energy. What do we “have” which could be thought of as energy, or even as money? What things, other than money or goods, can be valuable? Think about this: Money is only valuable in relation to what you can do with it. It’s just paper. Gold is the same. Everything is the same. If you have a million dollars in the bank and then inflation goes up 10,000%, you can no longer do much with that million. So the value is not inherent in anything, the value is in the ability to do something with it. Nothing has value unless you can do something with it*.   The value of money (or anything) is strictly related to your ability to dissipate energy with it.  And you can dissipate energy with money, but also with other things. Let’s take a look at some more energy dissipaters…

Thoughts
Yes, some good thoughts are worth money. A good idea may be worth money. In effect, the song American Pie was nothing more than a “good thought”. Keith Richards, and numerous other artists, claim that songs just “come to them” – they “found them”, or God writes them and they just heard it from him. Like finding a pretty stone on the beach. That stone may be worth money. So is the riff to Satisfaction. In that sense we see a thought as having value, having energy.

Thinking styles
Thinking style can be very valuable. It is shown that certain ways of thinking lend themselves to greater output and effectiveness. And yes, an effective thinking style is something you can acquire. Something you can invest in – put energy into in hopes to get more energy back. And something you can transfer – both positive and negative thinking styles will rub off on those around you. These italicized words ringing any bells? That translates to green, my friend.

Belief systems
An empowering belief system also pays well these days. The belief system that includes “you can accomplish anything you put your mind to” won the editor’s choice award over long-time rival “life’s a bitch and then you die”. Believing one over the other will have a profound effect on your effectiveness. This belief system is not tangible, yet it translates into tangible things: money, a good job, a good relationship, a good life. What’s more, it’s one of the few things of value you can pass on to future generations which is not taxed. Think of it: invest now in an empowering belief system and watch your value (your GPP) go up and you can treat it as a tangible asset which can be passed on to your kids (kids largely take on the belief system of their parents) so they can enjoy the benefits as well.

Status
Have status will travel. Any son of a former president can attest to this. Status, just like any other form of energy, can be increased or it can be wasted. Win the World’s Strongest Man contest and your status will increase, and you’ll be able to do more. Doors will open up for you, people will buy you dinner, athletics companies and shampoo brands will offer you sponsorships. All these perks serve one goal only…(dissipating energy – just checking in case you are totally missing the theme of this article, and website…). Get caught backstage injecting steroids with your Swedish rival Hans and your status may fade.

Location
Locations too have energy. You can do more in New York City than in Muncie, Indiana. And big cities dissipate tons of energy. By the sheer fact of being in a city, you have more value than by being in the middle of nowhere. Want to increase your wealth? Take a bus to New York. I always feel great to go to a city and feel re-charged when I leave. There is so much going on and you feel the power and the vibe and you feel like you can do anything. And indeed, you have a better chance of doing anything in a big city.

Now there is a slight twist to this: being in the majestic arms of nature also feels good. It feels good because there is a lot of energy being dissipated and you feel connected to it. It is indeed a spiritual feeling. You may not be doing the dissipating, but it’s happening all around you…and it’s wicked cool.

Potential vs Kinetic Energy
As you may recall from 8th grade science class, energy takes on two forms: potential energy, energy being used; and kinetic energy, energy stored up waiting to be used. The examples above are all potential energy – they give you possibilities to dissipate more energy but they do not necessarily do so. What still bothers me in this whole theory is the transferability of it all. See, in life, you dissipate energy, then you die. Money can sit in a bank account as potential energy, and when you die, it will maintain its energy level. Thoughts and belief systems too can be transferred to the people around you. They can be transferred to your children, and in that sense, they too maintain their energy level. But what if you have thoughts with high energy levels but die before you do anything with them? Is the energy gone? Can’t be. Energy can’t disappear, it can only be transferred. Sure, you will rot, and that’s an exercise in energy dissipation, but you will not rot any better than someone with dumb ideas. Any help out there? I’ll try to answer my own question. All these things have a certain potential value, but since something is only valuable to the extent that you can do something with them, they hold little value at the moment they are in your head. Taking them to the outside world is when they really gain value. Maybe that’s why it’s such a “high energy process” to write, or to share your thoughts with someone. They’re all nice and safe in your head, but the real guts come from bringing them into the world. I was very nervous the first time I wrote a blog article. It felt very strange and vulnerable. But my thoughts gained value once they were shared**.

Ergo, money is everything. To say that money is simply an exchange for goods or services is missing the real story. If thoughts and skills could be transferred with money, they would be. You may freak out at the idea of “downloadable mind-sets” 200 years from now where high school basketball players can upload Michael Jordan’s game face, ie his set of thoughts as he plays. As technology progresses, the distinction between energy and money will slowly disappear. We all can imagine a time in the not-so-distant future when money disappears all together, and a new form of currency will have to take its place and the value of everything will be determined by how effectively it will dissipate energy.

* That Picasso hanging on my wall is valuable since I get to look at it. And somewhere in the process of evolution, someone deemed this a high-energy activity

** Yes, we can all debate the actual value of these thoughts. Remember, “good and bad” are fictitious connotations. There is only valuable and invaluable. Some thoughts may be good but if nothing is done with them (maybe nothing can be done with them) then they have no value, even if they are pulled out of your head and into the world.

If you’re into mental health and well-being, which side do you choose? Just like the Republicans and Democrats, there is much to be gained (and avoided) on both sides, so no need to limit yourself to just one.

I liken the mental health and self-help industries to big, tall apartment buildings. Ideally, you want a room with a view on the top floor. But this room needs a good foundation. The New Agers seem to have gone straight to the goal and built the penthouse. Problem is, they are not too concerned about the foundation and as a result the penthouse is a bit shaky. The scientists are building from the ground up, building a nice firm foundation which is rock solid. But it’s complicated. They demand perfection and they focus on the smallest of details. They spend so much time and energy on that foundation that they can lose sight of the ultimate goal – the room with a view.

The only solution is not to fall into the partisan trap. Be open minded for either side. If you’re a scientific person, open up for the wonders of all this spiritual crap that’s out there. At the risk of sounding cheesy, it can help you to experience the most profound feelings there are – to build a full life beyond anything conclusive data can bring. If you’re a New Ager, check out some of those science books. Lots are written for the layman these days. They may all be theoretical but they can be entertaining as well. And don’t be afraid, they may have prove that some of your beliefs are bullshit, but who cares.

You don’t have to be right to be happy.  And that’s the goal, remember?