Everywhere you look there are people underachieving, living dreary lives, or just not living the life they want to live. So why aren’t they? In the age we live in, there should be no excuse.  There is one example after another of someone whose life has quickly gone from crappiest to happiest. Here are the 4 reasons why people aren’t getting the good stuff.  

1. They don’t really want them
Ask people what they want in life and they tell you all kinds of standard things: a cool job, lots of money, good friends, plenty of free time, and good relationships. Dig a little deeper and you might find they don’t really want the things they say they want. Money often means hard work and hassles. Good relationships require intimacy which itself require a whole lot of honesty and openness - something many people subconsciously or consciously avoid. A cool job will require initiative, potential insecurity and maybe even a lackluster salary. It’s the same in all cases - one part of you wants something but another part knows of a possible downside and keeps you from going after it.

2. They don’t know/believe they exist
You can’t do or have something if you don’t know it exists. A happy family life? Indeed many of us have been sold the notion that all families fight and all kids hate their parents. ‘Tis not so. Happy families do exist but unless you know this, you will never set out to get it. Recently, I’ve had to get up early for work and there’s a little voice inside me that says I should be tired. If my body doesn’t feel tired, then there is a dissonance - one part saying I should feel tired and another part saying I feel pretty good. Eventually the first part tells the second part to shut up. It thinks waking up at 5:30 and feeling good isn’t possible. It’s only when I present it to myself as a possibility that I can actually feel good that early. A good part of the wellness movement must be geared to educating the public of the existence of these “products”. We are confronted more and more with evidence that every human experience can be reproduced and we are not limited in taking some person’s good reality and making it our own. The first step in getting something is dropping the idea that something is impossible for you. “Easier said than done”, you say? Drop the idea that it’s easier said than done… It really is just like a light switch but you first have to drop the idea that it’s impossible that changing your life is easy. Get it?

3. They don’t believe they can/should have them
I saw an interview with Tom Cruise once (ok, it was on Oprah) where he said he used to believe that the life he lives was for “other people” and it was the point that he changed that belief at allowed him to actually live it himself. Many people feel subconsciously unworthy of having good things in life and surrender to not even trying to get them. Lots of money, a good job, a partner who treats them well - you see on a constant basis people all around settling for the things they subconsciously think they deserve. Belief systems are all-powerful. Everyone beliefs something different and you see that all combinations are possible and that all belief systems lead to their eventual reality - so feel free to choose the one you want - not the one you think belongs to you.

4. They don’t know how to get them
And just sometimes you might find all the other three points are ready and waiting but you just don’t know how to get them - how to break the patterns that dictate your behaviors or how to find and approach the mate you want or how to get the job that’s perfect for you. And that’s what human technology (psychology, self-help, personal development, GTD, etc) is all about.

Now what?
What’s so great about the age we live in is that there is a whole army of experts who dedicate their lives to these 4 points. If people don’t know about this army and what they do, they’ll never look for it. But they do exist and they can work wonders. Try and think of these 4 points in relation to your life and what’s holding you back from getting more of the good stuff. Don’t feel like thinking about it? Maybe you think it won’t lead anywhere? That’s kind of my point.

Bookmark