Author Archive

What a cheesy question, but bare with me here. Who you think you are determines everything in your life. Do you struggle with money, are you swept up in a life of mediocrity? Do you suck at relationships? Or are you living a totally fulfilling life where everything goes your way? Whichever the case, it is all about who you are. When I say this, I mean who you believe you are, but who you believe you are at this moment really is who you are. If you don’t like it, you can change it.

“Who am I” is the real question that shapes your life. For all the things you want, don’t want, wherever you are or where you want to be, all other questions are found in this one. What you believe about yourself will ultimately shape how your life goes. If you look at the difference between the successful and the unsuccessful, the fulfilled and the unfulfilled, their differences lie in what they believe about themselves.

“How did I get to believe this?” Who knows. Maybe it’s in the genes. Maybe you were raised that way. Maybe you had a number of experiences which led to some set beliefs. There may be signals in the womb which indicate your best place in the community when you’re born. It doesn’t really matter – only that you know it is very very deep and will require a big shovel to get it out and change it. Think “cancer and chemotherapy”. Nothing short of these major operations will take care of something as ensconced as cancer, and nothing short of serious changes to your life and daily routine and thoughts will change what you believe about yourself.

For the last months I have been focused on my network. “It’s not who you are, it’s who you know”. But if you are no good, or if you just believe this about yourself, then the good people will avoid you. There will be no network.

So how do you change these perceptions of yourself? By being superficial - by changing things on the outside. We often hear that you live your life from the inside out, and this is true, but you need to change your life from the outside in. You need to set up routines and exercises that act like a surgeon’s knife to go in and cut out the cancer, and replace it with clean, vibrant cells. Once the inside starts to improve, the outside world will treat it better, and you start on the proverbial “upward spiral”.

For me, writing improves my inside. I love writing, and writing loves me. It was an unexpected relationship but it works. It makes me feel good. The shit I feel about myself in other activities is cleaned away when I write. I write well (at least, I believe that) and it makes me feel like a capable, valuable person. That and exercise. They give me confidence and a feeling of self worth. From this place, being this best version of myself, I can continue the other things I want to accomplish in my life.

What are the quick wins for you? What activities can you do today that give your confidence a boost and project your best self? Is it taking a class to learn something new, playing an instrument, being in nature, giving? don’t think too long about it, just do it. And be ready for action towards your goals once you start to feel better and feel like “who am I” is something awesome – that’s the time to take action!